Essay 19

Maddy Neff

English 9

Mr. Salsich

April 20, 2010

My Second Self:

An Essay about My Sister

Some people say that if one identical twin is injured, the other twin, despite the miles between them, can feel the pain. Although my sister and I are not identical twins-she has red hair and green eyes, and I am a blue-eyed blonde- I often feel as though we share an uncommon connection, linked through more than blood. We are best friends, inseparable at times, and I look up to her and love her completely. We are also highly protective of each other, just as Maya Angelou is protective of her grandmother in her essay "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings."

TS My sister Gretchen is my only sibling in our family of four, my best friend, my role model, (parallelism) and she is someone I admire deeply. SD I have countless memories of my sister and I when we were younger. CM I can vividly remember matching red dresses dotted with little snowmen that we both had, and the composition notebook of strange animals we had drawn together, and the odd variations of hide and seek we used to play in our backyard. CM When Gretchen babysat me, she was always my ally against the monsters that crept in the corners (alliteration) of my room when my parents were away. SD These days, Gretchen goes to art school in Boston; when she first went to college, many people were wary for her, thinking that she wouldn't make it in the "real world" with a degree in painting. CM She has proved these people wrong though, and I hold her determination, hard work, and passion in high regard. CM Gretchen is my mentor, and I try to imitate her spirit and strength of character when I face trouble. SD Gretchen is my kindred spirit (apt thesaurus word). CM We are crazy for the same absurd things: TV shows like Are You Being Served? and The Tim and Eric Awesome Show, lots of ketchup, Little Richard and Chuck Berry, and dresses from the eighties, to only name a few. CM Even though we are five years apart in age, I sometimes feel as though we are twins, because we often think and feel the same way, and we can communicate with each other without saying a word. CS Gretchen is my sidekick, and I am endlessly thankful we ended up together in the same family.

TS In Maya Angelou's essay "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings," Maya honors and feels extremely protective of Momma, her grandmother, and Gretchen and I feel the same way about each other. SD When some "powhitetrash" girls insult Momma, Maya feels as though she might "burst...a firecracker July-the-Fourth burst" because she is so enraged by the show of disrespect towards her grandmother. CM If someone insulted Gretchen, I would feel just as much resentment, and I might even give whoever dared to slight my sister a piece of my mind. CM If the situation were reversed, I know that Gretchen would also be just as protective of her little sister, putting her arm around me, protecting me from anyone who wished me harm, spouting out insults of her own in my defense (loose sentence). SD In "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings," Maya is so disturbed by the mistreatment of her grandmother that she breaks down in tears; I have the same response when someone tries to hurt my sister. CM Because I am so close to Gretchen, a stab in her back is a stab in mine, and when I see her in pain or being abused, I become very unsettled (apt thesaurus word). CM When the "powhitetrash" girls were cruel to Momma, Maya thought "about the rifle behind the door;" though my reactions are not quite as drastic as Maya's, I do feel strong indignation towards those who harm my sister. SD Another relation between "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" and my relationship with my sister is the deep-routed respect that Maya has for her grandmother, similar to the admiration I have towards my sister. CM Maya says her grandmother "owned the land [the "powhitetrash"girls] lived on, [and] forgot more than they would ever learn," and this shows how much Maya reveres her grandmother's hard work and wisdom. CM I, too, honor Gretchen for her knowledge and good work ethic; I often go to her when I need advice or assistance. TS Maya Angelou and I have corresponding attitudes when it comes to the love we feel for our family members.

I do hope that neither Gretchen nor I ever break a leg, but if one of us did so, I believe that the other sister would share in the discomfort, even if we were not together. We possess a special bond. We are not only sisters, but best friends and confidantes. Maya Angelou would know about the bond I speak of, since she was so incensed by the "powhitetrash" girls' insolence towards her grandmother, a woman she looked so highly upon.

Self Assessment

1. One writing issue I am continuing to work on: I still need to work on weeding out unneeded words. This essay seems long to me, and I went through it and removed some words, but I still think it could be cleaned up a bit more.

2. One strong point I see: I think I did a good job of making this essay interesting for the reader. I used many specific examples and interesting words.

3. One possible weak point I see: again, I think this essay might have unnecessary words, and might use some neatening up.